How to feel more like a human and less-like a lifeless blob: 5 slightly hypocritical tips to get you motivated

It’s 1p.m on a Sunday and I am eating cold pizza in my pyjamas. I have a dried up facemask on and laundry that has been waiting to be moved to the dryer for far too long. This is how I am spending my last few precious hours of reading week. Soon enough I will be packed up ready to head back to my little dorm room to start the final stretch of my first year of University.


I so don’t want to go back, please, please don’t make me go! I am done with essays and exams and long-ass readings. All I want is to get on a plane and head to some beautiful tropical island and just live there forever…

It seems as if I have fallen into a slump, again. This has been a constant theme for my first year of University. While there are times where I am happy and motivated and just an overall badass, there are also times where something inside me just flips and I feel like the bottom of a shoe. And not the cute pair that you only wear for special occasions, I feel like the bottom of those worn out boots that you should really throw out but you can’t bare to part with. Yeah I feel like those boots.

You see if I was one of those perfect people you see online who’s hair is always in place and outfits are always the perfect combination of classic pieces and trendy accessories making them look cool and effortless at the same time, I would write something along the lines of 10 ways to get more motivated or 7 tips to get everything on your to-do list done or From caterpillar to butterfly: 110 ways to burst out of your cocoon and become the best you you can be! Unfortunately I am not one of those people so instead I wrote you this:

How to feel more like a human and less-like a lifeless blob  

  1. Clean yo self

From what I have heard, most human beings appreciate good hygiene so take a moment wash off that feeling of worthless blah. Ahh, doesn’t that feel nice.

  1. Put on human people clothes

And no, sweatpants don’t count. Even if you aren’t going anywhere or doing anything, real clothes can make you feel like you still have some dignity. (side note: I know us boob owners don’t always love bras, but I actually feel so much more motivated when I put one on. It’s like once those puppies are up the rest of my body fall in line) (side side note: I apologize for calling breasts puppies, it’s kinda weird now that I think of it)

  1. Breathe outside air

Not all of us have the time (or willpower) to do daily hikes in the wilderness, however even just opening a window can do wonders for your human-ness. So breathe that oxygen

  1. Talk to yourself like a crazy person

I saw this Superwoman video a few days ago about motivation and it was actually very inspiring. I really recommend watching it because I think she has some good real life tips for getting stuff done (as oppose to my silliness). One of my favorite things she says is to actually say what you are going to do out loud by giving yourself a starting action and a conclusion. I might not be doing the best job explaining but watch the video and you’ll get the idea.

  1. Kill the zombie that is slowly eating your brain as you aimless scroll through Instagram (or follow me @rebeccakazdan)

Okay so if you’ve heard it once you’ve heard it 1000 times: Get off the social media! But believe me I know it’s hard; I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve wasted watching girls do elaborate makeup tutorials that I will never even attempt to recreate. But every time I do it I feel like crap. My best tip right now (although I am still working on it) is to do something that you enjoy that also makes you feel accomplished. For example I really enjoy writing for this blog, but you could play instrument, or draw, or figure out how to breed an actual puppy monkey baby (please don’t do that).

So those are my five tips to use whenever you start to feel like not a real person. Hopefully some of them can help you get out of your next slump, or they at least made you laugh a little. Try to remember that everyone feels a little blah sometimes, just keep plucking along and you will be back to your go-getter self sooner than you know it.

À la prochaine,






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