How to Deal with Rejection: The Art of Not Crying in Public

REJECTED! REJECTED! YA YOU JUST GOT REJECTED! RE-JE-CETED REJECTED!!!

This is not just a cheer from that one Zoey 101 episode where Logan hires the girls to become his cheerleaders (ah what a good show). They are also the lyrics to my own personal theme song whenever a potential boss/program/significant other utters those awful words “We regret to inform you…” (or something along those lines).

Ah, rejection, the sure fire way to send my brain into a downward spiral of negative thoughts and existential crisis. As someone who probably cares way too much about how other people view me, a simple “no” can feel like a personal attack. Unfortunately rejection, very much like slow wifi, is an unavoidable nuisance of our everyday lives. Luckily for you, I have had my fair share of people tell me “Thanks, but no thanks” so I complied a list of ways to help to start the “just get over it” process:

1.Listen, smile, thank, repeat

The very worst thing you can do after you had been rejected is to react prematurely. A rude comment or a super dramatic but predictable smoothie to the face move could destroy any last remains of a relationship you might have with that person. You never know when another opportunity might come your way and you need that person on your side. So read every last word of that rejection letter, or let your significant other go through their entire “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. Try to objectively take in all the information and see if you can pick out any specific reasons why you were rejected (suppress store these somewhere in your brain, we will get back to them later). Try your best to remain pleasant and understanding throughout the interaction. This is helpful for two reasons a) It will really piss off the rejecter who might be desperately trying to get a reaction from you b) It makes you look uber mature and in touch with your emotions (even if on the inside you are a hot mess). So put on your best happy face and be sure to thank the rejecter for their time (bonus points if you send a follow up thank you e-mail).

2.Have a break down

Schedule a definitive period of time to allow yourself to do whatever the hell you need to do in order to release any pent up anger or sadness. Depending on your personality the way that you might deal with your rejection will differ. I personally enjoy locking myself in my room and spending the night eating junk food and crying (I truly believe that a large pizza and a sappy rom-com can fix any problem, but that’s just me). Take this time to be completely selfish. Wallow and rant to anyone who will listen. You have been hurt, it is okay to take this time. HOWEVER please keep a few things in mind:

  1. Keep this period of time short. It should not go on longer than one or two days tops as you still need to be a functioning member of society.
  2. Don’t throw shade over the socials (am I use that term correctly, is it still cool?). While a sad or sassy sub-tweet (try saying that 10 times fast) might give you instant gratification, it makes you look petty and you will mostly likely regret it.
  3. Stay safe and try not to project your anger on to other people. That is just a general life note.

3. Address the situation

Here is where you pull out all the information that you gathered during the rejection process and see if you can objectively figure out why you may have been rejected. If you want you can send a follow up email asking for feedback, but be prepared for the answer as it isn’t always nice. Once you have gather this information take time to critically assess these reasons. Ask yourself if they are a) valid and b) something that you can/are willing to change. Take what you can from the rejecter’s critique and do away with the rest.

 

Well there you have it. Some of my somewhat simple tips to help you deal with the metaphorical slap in the face known as rejection. Now I do not guarantee that that these tips will help you get over the disappointment right away (that is gonna take some time) but hopeful they are able to point you in the right direction. Please try to remember that none of this is personal. A rejection is not a reflection of your entire character. You are still the absolutely fabulous person (with great taste in blogs) that you have always been; you just weren’t the right fit for that particular situation. Chin up, bigger and brighter opportunities and people are on their way.

À la prochaine,

Rebecca

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